


Alice's Turn To Die

by NervousAliceCurious



Category: ETN Writers, キミガシネ | Kimi ga Shine | Your Turn To Die (Visual Novel)
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Gen, Persuasive Ghost, Sacrifice Card, Trading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 20:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20141350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NervousAliceCurious/pseuds/NervousAliceCurious
Summary: Upon receiving the card that kills, a certain girl is left vulnerable to the influence of a Ghost.





	Alice's Turn To Die

**Author's Note:**

> An Au of the eventual ETN Writers version.
> 
> Just an idea that's been rattling around in my head for a while.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicidal thoughts, ideation, and attempt. Blood and gore. Threat of death.

** _WOOOP!_ **

** _WOOOOP!!_ **

** _WOOOOOOOP!!!_ **

“Another trade-!”

Eyebrows knitting together, they stood up.

Mystic covered her ears and winced.

“Why does it have to be so loud-!?”

“Everyone, check your cards!!”

Worried chatter, and the rustling of clothes.

No one was looking forward to the third revealing, were they?

Not really wanting to find out myself, I hit the power button.

The screen lit up sapphire-blue.

Just like usual-

——

S…A…C…R…I…F…I…C…E

“Phew!” Somebody laughed from right next to me.

“Still got mine…”

“Yeah, same here”.

Twin sighs of relief.

“Thank God!

Think I woulda had a breakdown on the spot if it were_ that_ card-“

“Me too”.

…

(How does no one see this, I have my PDA up where they can _easily_ see it, I haven’t said a word-

This is the card that killed Nao.

My heart…thumped slow. In my chest.

I could feel that crushing pressure around my waist-

Squeezing all the air out of my lungs, my stomach inflaming at the unpleasant memory.

A hand punching the voice right out of my throat as I struggled to understand what I was looking at.

I…was…

“Hey-“

Movement from just over my shoulder-

I booked it out of the room as fast as I could.

*

…

…

…

In autopilot…my feet led me right to the door of my bedroom.

Robotically, I opened the door.

Like a living hurricane, I went through the entire room for my wallet.

Over turning the chair cushions, the beige sheets of the bed.

I threw pillows onto the floor, lifted up the mattress, practically got stuck under the mattress frame-

Nothing on the window sill, in the dresser drawers, the bathroom.

It wasn’t there.

Did I…lose it?

…

I’m always leaving stuff everywhere, so-

I went back through everything again, the hazy feel of a nightmare slowly creeping over me.

Nooo, it’s not here…

Or was it?

I looked through everything again.

“Ow-“

There was a cut.

On my wrist.

…

I must’ve gotten it from the metal springs.

I stared at it.

…

What was I doing?

…

What was I doing…looking for it.

Chills ran down my spine.

I couldn’t just…trade it…to anyone…

What…

Did I want to see them die?

If there weren’t…anymore…

It would be…my fault.

Again.

If they died.

Because I was _too much of an idiot to do the job right._

_I had that stupid button-_

_I could’ve ended it easily._

_But noooo…_

_I just **had** to fudge it up like I always do._

**You should’ve just held it down, you cold-blooded murderer.**

Yes.

Yes, you should’ve.

Why didn’t you vote for me…?

A feeble voice at my ear.

Like usual…

I wanted to live…we could’ve made it out of here together…Sara…!

Bloody hands hugging me from behind.

A sickeningly painful pressure surely crushing the hope and happiness right out of my head.

Blood trickling down the skin of my arm from her gushing nose, mouth, blood staining the back of my blue shirt from the trauma.

Long, red hair tickling my nostrils until I sneezed.

We could’ve painted that picture together…the one for Prof. Mishima…and Joe…and Reko…

And Sou.

Why?

Why did you kill me.

“I didn’t want to kill Gin, and Kanna, and Keiji…I didn’t want to kill Q-Taro…I didn’t want four more deaths on my head when I care about them so much-“

My knees were weakening.

“I didn’t want to be responsible for any more suffering…I didn’t want to have to live knowing I could’ve saved them too-“

But you didn’t save me.

“I wanted to-“

But you thought that it would be okay to sacrifice one life for the benefit of four others?

Four others who would be likely to betray you!?

“…”

What could I say to that?

What could I possibly say!?

“…Yes…”

The vision of a snarling, pop-eyed woman in violet overalls filled my brain.

Filled the reflection of the replaced-window I’d broken.

So many hours ago…

What a selfish girl!

How dare you put your own desires over what’s right?

You should repent this instant!!

You should just go **die**.

“…Huh…?”

You should just go die.

After all, now that you have that card, if they don’t vote for you, your history.

You’ll never trade it away, and you’ll probably never keep it hidden during the discussions either.

You’ll make them have to carry around the weight of your sorry carcass forever and ever because you couldn’t do the strong thing and give it away.

Tell me.

She crooned seductively.

Wouldn’t it be better to just end it now, rather than put everyone through your own avoidable misery?

I know you got handed that knife after the incident…

Because they knew you wouldn’t go ahead and use it.

But now…

You don’t have to pretend anymore.

N-no way.

I couldn’t do that to my friends-

Then where are they?

. . . ! ! !

Didn’t they watch you run?

Shouldn’t they be here now if they were truly concerned?

…I’d hid it in a plastic bag.

In the toilet tank.

The scenario played itself out in my mind:

I could just…

Go in there.

Yank the top off.

Unzip the bag.

And lift it level with my neck.

Fear jolted through my mind.

The clearer I could see it-

The more likely I was to do it.

Go.

‘Go’, she said…

Go do it.

**Go.**

It’s so simple.

So easy…

Just get up-

I was already up.

Just take one step at a time-

My sneakers were itching to move.

And it’ll be over before you know it!

The reflection smiled.

All traces of malice gone in an instant.

That sweet smile-

That familiarly sweet smile-

I missed it.

I didn’t want to believe this game would be real at first because I knew.

I _knew_-

Everyone you’ve lost will be there.

I’ll be able to introduce you to my beloved Professor-

I knew she’d show up sooner or later.

“But I don’t want to die…”

It was barely audible.

Do you really think you can live like this?

“…”

Live with the guilt, the feelings that there could’ve been a way to stop it all?

“…I don’t know…”

Thought so.

“…I’d find…some way…”

Would you?

What about your secret fear?

The fear that you tell no one else?

I’d almost forgotten.

No, not actually…

I didn’t like to remember that it existed.

You like to think that you’re strong, and that is so admirable.

Her face was almost kind.

But here you are…alone…

And no one’s coming to save you.

No…one…?”

Hey look.

We were in the stall already.

Yes…I’m sorry to say it, but it’s true.

So light…

Now do it, please.

Come jo**in me in Hell**.

WHACK-!!

…!

?

My hand…was empty.

Stinging.

“Who…who did that?”

“I did!”

Flashes of black-and-white through the purple-tinged haze.

“Cinn…na…?”

“Yup!”

A pair of arms pulled me into a hug.

Plain as day.

The little bear was right in front of me.

“How…how did you know where I was?”

“You never run from anything.

So I got a bad feeling”.

“And you…came all the way here…?”

“Uh-huh!”

They seemed happy, relieved, and confused.

All at the same time.

Confused, relieved, and happy?

“Because I got worried”.

“Worried…?”

“Mm-hm…”

“You…”

“Alice…”

“You…you did that…!”

“Yeah!”

My arms shook.

As they lifted around my friend-

“Thank you…”

I was crying, tears dripping down my face.

“Thank you…thank you…”

“It’s no problem!”

*

Ever since the start of this mess, I had somehow become the one person who was always…constantly there.

To pick people up off the ground when they couldn’t stand on their own, to encourage them when morale was low, to do what needed to be done whatever the cost.

I didn’t know why…

Maybe it was because I just wanted everyone to get along?

Maybe it was because I couldn’t help being nice to everybody no matter how frustrated I would get?

I didn’t know.

But gradually, over time…

I had started to wonder.

Just what would happen if I fell down that hole myself someday.

All I’d ever done was stand by everyone else.

Would anyone try to help me, too?

Or would I simply be forgotten?

...Blurred monochrome would be my answer.

“Why’d you try to do that, Alice?”

“…Um-“

How could I put this…

“I have…I have a Ghost.

She said I should die-“

“A Ghost?”

The bear tilted their head.

“What kind of Ghost?”

“She likes to appear when I’m in t-trouble-“

“What kind of trouble?”

“The Sacrifice card kind, I bet”.

Mystic walked in, seeming out-of-breath.

“I thought yeeting myself off into the distance was _my_ issue”.

“I’m sorry-“

“No don’t be. Pretty sure this wasn't your fault".

She put her hands on her knees.

"I went up to the Room of Liars to see if I could find more Tokens.

But Safalin had already cleaned the place out, apparently-"

She caught sight of the knife on the floor.

“!?”

“Alice has a Ghost”, they explained.

“What kind of-!!?”

“I think they’re evil”.

“Evil!!?”

A gasp.

“Is it-“

“No”.

…It’s Nao.

“Oh f*”.

Mystic rubbed her forehead.

“Of course. Back then-“

“How do we make her go away?”

“I think…that I have to do it”.

I swallowed.

“I made her real”.

“Will you be alright?”

I couldn’t answer that.

“Alice”.

Mystic put her hands on my shoulders.

“If that b* is still around after you fight her off, allow me to kick her a*”.

“Okay-"

I wiped my cheeks.

"Okay.

Where are you.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I make more of these?


End file.
